New rules

I made her say it first. That's one of the new rules. I'm not afraid to be the pursuer--I'm rather enjoying the pursuit, what there is of it. I don't recall being so wanted, last time around. I don't recall being so effective, either. Either way, the point is not to curb any inclination of my own. My goal, simple though it may be, is not to be a salesman. If this unnamed thing is what we both want, we are going to have to come to it on our own terms, or it may all be for nothing. She didn't say it grudgingly, she didn't say it to stop my persistent harping, and I'm happy to say it back.

There's other rules, too. Most not worth repeating, all realistic and accomplishable. There will be no games, for one. She knows what I want, I know what she wants, it's that simple. If those things ever change on either side, there will be choices, but there will be no games. There will be no preconceived destination. This is not a linear exercise. Elliptical seems to be a theme in her life, and I'm pretty sure it applies here, too. Most of all, there will be no subjugations. I will not presume to tell her what she should do or how she should do it, and I'm confident I can trust her to do the same. Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Fortunately, we've beaten that dead horse into glue already, and whatever mistakes we may make this time will assuredly not be redundant.

I'm not making a rule that no one gets hurt. I'm not making a rule that I must protect myself at all costs. I play poker. I play Hold 'em fairly well. In a shameless use of comfortable analogy, I'm going to use it.

Right now I'm sitting on a pair of aces in the hole, and waiting for the chance to bet. Pocket rockets is the best starting hand in poker, by a long shot. Of course, it wouldn't be poker if there were any guarantees--everyone who's sat a table can tell you a dozen stories about losing their ass on a hand that they were a 10 to 1 favorite on pre-flop. Here's the deal, though. You never make any money playing poker by laying down the best hands. You never make any money playing scared. This particular hand has been blown out of the water for me before. I know this. But I'm still going to push my stack into the center when my turn comes. If I lose, I'll take it like a man. Go get a cup of coffee, catch your breath, and then go buy some more chips. You can always buy more chips. You can't win, though, if you don't play--and the game is no fun unless you win.