Fallout

This post will not be about the problems some mutual friends of the Remix and I are having. The details are unimportant, the people invoved have never been of interest here before, so it seems unfair to start writing about them now, and the situation isn't nearly sordid or unique enough for y'all to be interested anyway.

No, what's interesting to me here (and notice how smoothly I pick up after disappearing for a month, with no excuse for my absence other than laziness) is the ripple effect this whole thing has had on my relationship with the Remix--which is still going swimmingly, by the way. The problem with the disintegration of our friends' relationship is that it lends itself to talking about problems. The way it'll effect our relationship with those friends individually, who's at fault, what we'll do if they work it out, now that we've effectively chosen sides, the usual things. We end up in heated conversations about why so and so should do such and such, and when we disagree, it seems to become far more important than it really ought to be.

I've discovered, to my great chagrin, that this particular effect is my fault. I'm not good at gray area, you see. I am opinionated, all the time, about everything. My flaw is that even when I agree with you, I still have a way of making people feel like I'm telling them they're wrong. I don't mean to. I get so passionate about what I think, that it sounds like I must think anyone who doesn't agree is an idiot. I don't really know how to fix it, exactly. I like that I'm passionate, and I think most of the people who like me do too. I had to apologize to the Remix today, though, because I made her feel acutely unappreciated just by being me.

We've been talking a lot, lately, about the whole "That's just me being me" idea, mostly because of our friends and their catastrophic relationship. We agree that "DJ being DJ" is an acceptable excuse for baskets of clean laundry laying out on the floor for days at a time, but maybe not so much for making people feel unimportant. So it's no excuse anymore. I'll make an effort to be better, and the Remix will keep reminding me when I'm not.

Except, of course, while blogging. It wouldn't do to have my audience, if there's any left, thinking that I suddenly no longer know everything, would it?