Some things never change....

So I've been bad about money for as long as I can remember. Even as a kid, if I had it, I'd gladly share it, buy a round of slushies at the white hen for my friends, never expecting anything in return. If I didn't have it, I'd borrow it, and occasionally even pay it back. In college, I'd spend money I didn't have for things I didn't need, racking up an incredible amount of credit card debt with little or nothing to show for it. (Don't even get me started on the student loans/no degree thing, thanks very much.) Nowadays, things are only a little different, but I've got it much better under control. It's a couple rounds of beer now instead of slushies, and the people I've borrowed money from are considerably more corporate and considerably less inclined to forgive infrequent reimbursement.

All that leads me to this. The reason I feel like a moron, sitting here this evening. Since the fateful day that BankOne's collections department finally tracked me down and told me I had 7 days to repay several thousand dollars or face them in court, I have been much, much better about my money. No credit cards. No long term debt. No overdrafts. No scratching from paycheck to paycheck.

And then today.

I overdrafted my checking account today. Actually, Monday, I just figured it out today. Let me preface this with some mitigating circumstances, before I beat myself up too bad. It was an honest mistake, not a case of overspending. Last month, my regularly scheduled payment to my credit card was somehow not sent. So I paid the minimum, a couple days late, apologized profusely, and decided to pay off a big chunk this month to make up for it psychologically. So I moved some money from my stock/savings, and paid it. Here's the part where I'm an idiot....I set up the huge payment to come from my first paycheck of the month, the same one where i pay rent and all my monthly bills. Better yet, it cleared before my stock money made it in, so I paid it with money I didn't have anyway. I feel like I'm eighteen again. Not in the good, perpetual hard-on, conquer the world way, either. The bad, irresponsible, can't remember to take care of things way. What a schmuck.

Anyway, long term, this is not so big a deal. Tomorrow I will get on the phone and sweet talk some hapless bank employee into waiving most of the overdraft charges. If i need to buy anything, I will use the credit card I so recently cleared space on. This, however, is not enough. Frankly, the confidence I have in myself to take care of these things is clearly misplaced. Not that I can't take care of it, mind you, just that I can't take care of it without doing a much better goddamn job of keeping track. So right now, I'm making a spreadsheet. Tomorrow, I'm calling the cable company, and lowering my bill. I'm making a budget, and buying some goddamn groceries so I don't have to eat out for lunch every day. And I'm never, ever, feeling like this again.