Everyone is getting engaged. By everyone, I mean my brother, and the best friend. By engaged, I mean promising to someday (not too soon, of course) get married, have babies, and spend the rest of their lives sharing living quarters and laundry duties.
I have been engaged twice. Once, too young and too quickly, and with no idea what to do next. Once, still too quickly, and to the wrong person entirely. I intend to do it again at some point in the future, with I'll possibly even have a chance to rectify the disaster I made of the first one. Anyway, I'd have to consider myself an engagement expert at this point, seeing as how I've done it more than anyone else I know.
My brother has been dating the same girl since high school. The laugh at the same jokes, they have the same friends, they even look startlingly alike. From the get go, it's had all the makings of a storybook romance. The best friend took the BFGF to prom, back when she was just the Remix's best friend. It's been up and down, but they seem to love each other, and he has to know by now that no other girl is going to put up as gamely with his various eccentricities. They all seem happy together, faux nervousness and commitment-phobic posturing aside.
I have two bits of advice for these fairy tale couples. One, remember that the wedding is your day. If you want tuxes with hawaiian shirts, or chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, tell Modern Bride to go fuck itself and do it up right. It's a party, it's a celebration of your particular relationship, and if your relationship parties like Guns 'n' Roses on a three day bender, rock on.
The more serious bit of advice--storybook romance or no, "happily ever after" rarely means just that; and "The End" isn't anywhere near the page with the wedding picture. Nothing gets easier just because you got married. It's the real deal, all the way. You'll fight about things you never even thought about before. Money, sex, TV volume, air conditioning habits. You'll wonder some days how this raving lunatic you married ever conned you into saying "I do." Regardless of how happy, or how perfect, you seem, there's bound to be hiccups. Granted, with a young divorce already under my belt, I'm hardly the person to chide you to hang in there. I didn't. There's a difference, though. You guys have the right partners. There' s been no mistake, no greener grass to be found. I made the wrong choice to get married--I didn't start making the right ones until it was too late.
My next one will be the right one. My last one. I hope it's this one, obviously. (Somewhere, right now, the Remix is reading this and possibly fainting.) All told, though, the people I know who seem to have caught the marriage virus have got the pieces in place for a long happy life. They've got the right one, right now. That's worth hanging on to, and I'm ecstatic for everyone.
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6 comments:
Amen to the whole "Do your wedding your own way" thing! I wish people would be more creative and personal with their weddings, instead of the same white dress and black tuxes and three-story white wedding cake.
Plus, didn't your Remix have a ring that she found in a tray of costume jewelry, once upon a time? Wonder where that thing ever got to.
Ah, first case of crossover blogging...I don't know about her vintage ring, I imagine it's the one I still see her wear from time to time. I should ask.
Hi kids! Right on both counts. I wear a white sapphire I found when I was in college in one of those "vintage" stores run by old ladies and churches. I wrote about it and the engagement ring on June 27, 2006. Unfortunately, since I already own that one, if *anyone* ever wanted to marry me, they'd have to work a little harder to make their point. Who's fainting now, hmmm?
I'm unflappable to the extreme, darling. No fainting here. Just sudden shortness of breath and a wave of dizziness, not nearly the same thing.
Y'all are disgustingly cute. I speak from personal experience when I say that second chances are the very best chances. I love the crossover, too.
Another crossover here. And this one's married to her own second chance. Let's hear it for second chances. And good proposals. And better ever afters.ht
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